Domestic Abuse
Domestic Abuse – there is no excuse
What is Domestic Abuse?
Physical abuse includes:
- all types of assault and physical attacks.
Sexual abuse includes:
- forcing you to be involved in sexual acts against your will, and rape.
Emotional or Mental abuse includes a wide range of behaviour, such as:
- threats
- you are made to feel worthless, called names
- being isolated from friends and family
- denied food, sleep and medical attention
- not allowed to make choices or go out etc.
The abuser can be:
- a partner or ex-partner
- male or female.
The people who experience domestic abuse can be:
- male or female (including same sex relationships)
- not necessarily living with the abuser
- of any age, including elderly people (those aged under 16 are victims of child abuse – contact social services)
- of any race or religion.
There is no excuse for domestic abuse – it is not your fault. You are not to blame.
What should I do?
If you are experiencing domestic abuse:
It is important that you tell someone if you are thinking about leaving – even just for a break – or seek help to get the abuser removed from the home.
In an emergency dial 999 – the police may remove the abuser and will provide advice on protection. Or get out immediately (ideally with your children) and call a friend, National Helpline, Border Women’s Aid or other agency.
At other times talk to a friend or agency staff, or think about calling the police. Seek medical attention even if the injuries seem slight.
If possible, it’s best to be prepared:
- Share your plans of escape with a friend.
- Pack a bag with some clothes for you and the children and a few small toys – and leave it with a friend if possible.
- Try to take your child benefit book, rent book, marriage and birth certificates.
- Try to put some money aside for phone calls, taxis and bus fares.
- If possible, take some food and any medication you are on.
- Remember your house key – you may need to return later to get some more belongings.
- Take phone numbers of agencies or friends who can help you.
If you suspect that someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse:
- Ask them gently how things are at home – but they may not be ready to tell you.
- Believe them even if the abuser seems to be highly respectable.
- Provide a listening ear – do not be judgmental.
- Tell them where to find support and help then contact these agencies, if necessary.
- Contact the National Helpline for advice.
Who can help me?
Your friends and family may be able to help but there are also a lot of agencies which can provide practical help and emotional support. They will not tell the abuser and will treat what you say in confidence.
If you are in contact with any agency for whatever reason, tell them – if they can’t help, they will tell you where to go for specialist support.
Useful Numbers
General Advice and Support |
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Domestic Abuse Liaison Officer (L&B Police) |
01896 662713 |
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Police |
01450 275051 |
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Border Women\'s Aid |
01835 863514 |
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Scottish Women\'s Aid |
0131 2266606 |
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National Domestic Abuse Helpline |
0800 0271234 |
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National Women\'s Aid/REFUGE |
0808 2000247 |
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Victim Support |
01896 751212 |
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LetSBsafe |
01896 759933 |
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Citizens Advice Bureau |
01896 753889 |
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Borderline |
0800 0274466 |
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Social Work - out of hours |
01896 752111 |
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RESPECT Helpline |
0845 1228609 |
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Male Victim Helpline |
0808 8010327 |
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The Samaritans |
01750 2000 |
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Migrant Support Worker Project |
01750 724077 |
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Health Advice |
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NHS 24 |
0845 242424 |
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Housing Advice |
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Homelessness Officer |
0800 376 1138 |
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SBHA |
01896 662870 |
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Eildon Housing |
0845 604 3733 |
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Waverley Housing |
01450 364200 |
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Berwickshire Housing |
01361 884000 |
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Children |
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Child Protection Unit |
01896 662762 |
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Childline |
0800 1111 |
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Useful Websites |
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Border Women's Aid |
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Women's Aid |
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Scottish Women's Aid |
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Hidden Hurt |
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Women and Equality Unit |
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Refuge |
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LGBT |
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Respect |
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Men's Advice Line |
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The Hideout |
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NSPCC |
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Children's Reporter |
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Children 1st |
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Borders Drug and Alcohol Action Team |
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Domestic abuse as defined by the Scottish Government
Domestic abuse (as gender-based abuse), can be perpetrated by partners or ex-partners and can include physical abuse (assault and physical attack involving a range of behaviour), sexual abuse (acts which degrade and humiliate women and are perpetrated against their will, including rape) and mental and emotional abuse (such as threats, verbal abuse, racial abuse, withholding money and other types of controlling behaviour such as isolation from family or friends).
The Scottish Borders Domestic Abuse Working Group is a multi-agency group originally established in January 2000. The Working Group aims to raise awareness and understanding of the issues surrounding domestic abuse within the Scottish Borders and to help agencies provide a comprehensive range of services for, and an effective response to, those experiencing domestic abuse.
We recognise that:
- Domestic Abuse is extensive throughout society; it affects people of all classes, ages, ethnic groups and abilities.Domestic abuse is not the person’s fault; we don’t judge people for staying or returning to an abusive relationship.
- Responsibility for domestic abuse lies firmly with the perpetrator.
- Alcohol/drug misuse, unemployment, mental ill health or cultural values do not cause domestic abuse.
We acknowledge that:
The safety of women and children who experience domestic abuse is paramount and will remain central to all our efforts to address domestic abuse in the Scottish Borders.
- A person disclosing their situation needs to be supported and encouraged to make their own decisions.
- These decisions are based on the accuracy of the information and resources available.
- Everyone deserves a life free of fear.
- Perpetrators should be held accountable for their actions.
- Women and children who experience domestic abuse are best placed to tell us what works.
They deserve to have a voice and a choice. Their views are critical in ensuring our response is effective.
To find out more about Community Safety and its role within the Scottish Borders, please click here.
Service provider information
To access copies of leaflets and Domestic abuse documents and policies, please click here.
Unified Solutions.